Best Funny Facebook Status Quotes

Best Funny Facebook Status Quotes

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

 

Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

 

Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same thing.

 

I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.

 

World Population Rank: 1.China 2.India 3.Facebook 4.USA 5.MySpace 6.Indonesia 7.Brazil 8.Twitter

 

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

 

An apple a day keeps the doctor away but if the doctor is beautiful throw the apple away!

 

This dog is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

 

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

 

Some men inherit money, some earn it, and some are lawyers.

 

Why don't you understand me like my iPhone does??

 

If I were any more single, I'd be a fraction. :)

 

These are just a few funny Facebook status quotes. You may even find the following funny Facebook status quotes and jokes a bit hilarious too.

 

If Google can't find it, you are screwed.

 

I stepped on a cornflake. Does that mean I'm a cereal killer?

 

Yo Mamas So Fat She Downloaded Cheats For Wii Fat!

 

All work and no play, will make you a manager.

 

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

 

Computers: Working daily to make the human brain obsolete.

 

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

 

I once cried when I had no Facebook....Then i met someone with no Internet!

 

If "poli" means many, and "tics" mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does "politics" mean?‌

 

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

 

You don't know a women till you've met her in court.

 

I woke up on the wrong side of Facebook.

 

My Facebook wall is broken.

 

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but duck when you throw a revolver at him?"