1. ....can see Alaska from her house.

2. ....understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.

3. ....just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.

4. ....says keep staring....I may do a trick.

5. ....knows your jealous because the voices are talking to him and not you.

6. ....is being spontaneous... tomorrow.

7. ....Says touch your head. Touch your nose. NAME didn't say touch your nose.

8. ....was reviewing your profile but couldn't turn the suck down!

9. ....wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

10. ....the guy who stole the frigg'n cookie from the cookie jar. Now shutup!

11. ....secretly hoping the video he and Paris made last night is released on TMZ

12. ....writing a paper called "Sex and Pregnancy: A Possible Connection"

13. ....being interviewed on his new novel "Sweet and Sour Pork: How Can It Be Both? At The Same Time?"

14. ....brought to you by the letters W T F

15. ....with your girlfriend.

16. ....trapped in the facebook status message textbox; send help!

17. ....not your friend.

18. ....not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you

19. ....known for his motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!

20. ....master of his domain

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired"

"If I tell you, I love you, can I keep you forever"

"...Just refreshed her facebook page and there are still no wall messages"

"...Is proofreading your status"

"...The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart."

"...Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk past you again?"

"..Love is a fire: But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell"

"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining."

"Some things man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google."

"Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances, you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you, tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to fall in love, and most of all, live in the moment, every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

"the greatest thing in life is finding someone who knows all your mistakes and differences and still finds you absolutely amazing.♥ "

"A real man doesn't love a million girls, he loves one girl in a million ways ♥"

"...Is missing home..._̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡....sweet home...:(

"The longer you wait for something,the more you appreciate it when you get it, because anything worth having is definitely worth waiting for"..^_^

"If you had a chance to be someone else for a day.. Type in who and why."

Cute Quotes for Facebook

In case you're in a humorous mood and just wanna spend some time on facebook (that's exactly what we do anyway:-)), you can also try some funny facebook status ideas, so that you can enjoy some laughter moments (& comments, for sure) with your friends. Funny facebook status updates can help you make others laugh and at least better your mood. While you do that, here are some more cute quotes for facebook status that you can use to your advantage...enjoy...

...Hey you, looking at my status. Hi!٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶

"For The Next 24 Hours I'm Gonna Be Completely Honest (: Message Me Any Question And I'll Answer It, But Hurry Before Time Runs Out!"

"Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. . . . It mean that you've decided to look beyond imperfections!★"

"Good friends are like stars, you don't always seem them, but you know they are always there when you need them"

"I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!!"

"I thought a thought but the thought i thought wasn't the thought i thought i thought!"

"♬Just chill folks.... ♫ ♪ ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı ♪ ♫ ♬ "

"The spaces between my fingers are where yours fit perfectly"

"...Sometimes, you just can't tell anybody how you really feel... not because u don't know why, not because u don't know ur purpose, not because u don't trust them... but because... you can never really find the right words to make them understand"

Cute Quotes for Facebook Profile

Express yourself about what you feel and your mantra of life in your facebook profile. Use any of the good quotes to live by or some wise sayings and quotes. If not quotes, just write few lines about yourself.

"If U feel stressed, give urself a break. Eat some ice cream, chocolates, candy & cake. Y.? Bcoz STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS!! Enjoy Life.:-), That's my style? Come, Join me..."

"Poke me if you have had a crush on me , like this if you think im cute , inbox me if you ever wanted a relationship , put a smile if we are friends =] , put an angry face if you dont like me :@ or put a heart if you wanna be more than friends ♥ . Now lets see who is brave enough to put this as their statuas :)"

"Love me or Hate me. Either way im still on your mind :p"

"I am The Author Of My Life" && I'm Currently Writting In Pen; I Cant Erase My Mistakes All I Can Do Is Learn From Them; Everything I've Been Through In Life; Shapes Me Into The Beautiful Young Lady I am Today; As The Days Go On I Get Wiser && Strong ... ♥ ...

"Would like the opportunity to prove that winning the lottery would NOT ruin my life"

I'm thinking about thinking but i don't know what to think about so i think i should just stop thinking before i think to much! :P

"Wants to say thank you to all the people who walked into my life and made it outstanding and all the people who walked out of my life and made it fantastic "

"Some things are worth FIGHTING FOR, some things are just NOT WORTH the fight, and everything else..JUST SHAKE YOUR HEAD AND LAUGH..It doesn't matter anyway!"

Today, Microsoft releases a new version of its Bing Bar downloadable browser tool bar that includes several Facebook capabilities. Bing Bar users can see when they have new notifications, messages, and friend requests, and view an activity feed and photos from friends without visiting Facebook.com.
Though the Facebook features and other functions including maps, mail, translation, and rewards are somewhat useful, the Bing Bar is only available to users of Internet Explorer 7 or later running Windows 7, Vista, or XP, limiting its potential for adoption.

Microsoft has been a long time partner of Facebook, powering its internal search, selling some ad inventory, and most recently integrating Instant Personalization into Bing Search. The Bing Bar’s Facebook integration was developed independently, though, using Facebook’s APIs.
The Bing team claims this is the fastest, most lightweight toolbar available. Its main purpose is to expose users to various functionalities of Bing. The Bing Bar can provide one click directions to a searched business, display local weather, and translate web pages. Since the toolbar collects clickstream data, installs will help Microsoft refine its products and search result ranking algorithm.
However, for the Bing Bar to gain traction, Microsoft will have to battle a stigma against toolbars. Spammy, malware-ridden toolbars have been prevalent on the internet for years, so most users associate them with slowed down browsing and security concerns. To incentivize use, the Bing Bar offers rewards points for following suggested searches of current events. Users can redeem these points for prizes.

Once Windows Intenet Explorer users have downloaded and installed the Bing Bar and given it Facebook authorization, they’ll see an orange star on the toolbar’s Facebook icon whenever they have pending notifications, messages, or friend requests.

When the icon is clicked, users can select between a number of tabs, including Photos, which shows thumbnails of photos uploaded by friends, and News Feed, which appears to predominantly display simple activity stories, not full stories. Users can also Like and comment on updates from friends.

The Bing Bar allows users to update their status, but doesn’t format links pasted into its composer. Instead it just publishes the URL. Since users will be browsing around the internet and discovering interesting websites, the inability to share them with friends in a compelling way is a significant deficiency. Users are better off going to Facebook.com where their pasted links are formatted into rich stories with thumbnail images and captions instead of using the Bing Bar.
With an existing negative perception of toolbars, limited accessibility, and the fact that some of its Facebook features work significantly worse than on Facebook’s website, Microsoft will have a difficult time finding a large audience for the Bing Bar, even if it has some useful features.

Best Funny Facebook Status Quotes

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

 

Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

 

Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same thing.

 

I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.

 

World Population Rank: 1.China 2.India 3.Facebook 4.USA 5.MySpace 6.Indonesia 7.Brazil 8.Twitter

 

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

 

An apple a day keeps the doctor away but if the doctor is beautiful throw the apple away!

 

This dog is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

 

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

 

Some men inherit money, some earn it, and some are lawyers.

 

Why don't you understand me like my iPhone does??

 

If I were any more single, I'd be a fraction. :)

 

These are just a few funny Facebook status quotes. You may even find the following funny Facebook status quotes and jokes a bit hilarious too.

 

If Google can't find it, you are screwed.

 

I stepped on a cornflake. Does that mean I'm a cereal killer?

 

Yo Mamas So Fat She Downloaded Cheats For Wii Fat!

 

All work and no play, will make you a manager.

 

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

 

Computers: Working daily to make the human brain obsolete.

 

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

 

I once cried when I had no Facebook....Then i met someone with no Internet!

 

If "poli" means many, and "tics" mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does "politics" mean?‌

 

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

 

You don't know a women till you've met her in court.

 

I woke up on the wrong side of Facebook.

 

My Facebook wall is broken.

 

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but duck when you throw a revolver at him?"